Wor Toony

Wor Toany (Na man, ye smurk tha tabs an strurk tha wippet.) is gannin doon St John's Wood the dee.

Ah rekon E'll get a waam welcome from aal the pyeple E's been messin aboot aal these yeahs.

Am gannin doon the tube te give him a reet tellin. E's bin warkin is ticket fa tee lang. Ah mean, what a divvy! Tekkin us aal te waar, like.

Sweet-as though. Aal them politishins sharpnin tha kneeves. Reet bunch 'o' wobbly spineless nowts. Anly trouble is, like, ah havant got any eggs.

A'll tell yez aal aboot it when ah get back. Toot sweet.

Eee mind! Ah divvent kna what ah'll say if thez any camras aboot. Problees sumink like 'Aye man, that Toany, what a dafty. Haway man Toany, get. a . grip. An ye betta not think aboot comin roond heya sayin thez sumink wrang wi a coople 'o' bloaks wakkin aroond in Bras.'

E'll probleez end up bealin is little eyes oot. Reet! See yez aal leayta.