A lovely guitar.

This is my guitar. I use it to play songs like 'My Lovely Horse.' by father Ted Crilley and Dougal Maguire and also as a means to impress woman who come to my flat. No women ever come to my flat, but if they ever did, they would be mightily impressed by my guitar. One day I will hang it out of the window to try and entice some women into my flat.

It's a great guitar.

Everyone should have a guitar. They serve many purposes. When I hang my clothes up to dry, if the clothes horse and radiator are full, I hang my boxers on my guitar. If my neighbour is having a quiet day and looking all together too smug about it, I play 'Here Comes the Sun' by the beatles very loudly and very slowly. (Violins are also good for this sort of thing, I find a nicely out of tune burst of Fiocco every 40 minutes or so works wanders.) Another use for a guitar is as a tray for drinks on unsteady surfaces like a bed.

I wander if readers have any other uses for guitars, or musical intruments of any kind. Please feel free to add your comments.